I feel like my daddy was my everything and without him, I have nothing. He was like my hero. It was his ears and mind that I ran to when I didn’t know how to handle a situation, his eyes and hands that I depended on for protection. So when I stood on his side and held his hand at the hospital when they pronounced him dead, I felt like I had NOTHING, for so long. I lost my sanity, my heart, and my life in the course of one day. I stopped going to school for months because I felt like.. “ what’s the point of completing this goal, if I wont be able to share the success with the person who talked me through my times of failure?” Eventually I ended up going back to classes knowing that my father would be upset if I was weak enough to let anything push me to the brink of giving up, and forgetting about life. In a way he has become my motivation, I say to myself sometime, “ let me do this for my daddy. Or let me do this for my brothers, we’re all gone eat when I finish.”
“Sometimes I Feel Like I Have An Higher Understanding.. Some People Can See What Is In front Of Them.. Some People Can See Into The Stars.. Some People Can See Into The Spirit.. && Some Can See Into The Future.. But It’s Like Sometimes.. Sometimes I Can See It All .”—Another Quote By Me.
i Know That everyone must die but it still makes me wonder exactly what happens next, after we all die. You know? I’ve heard so many different theories and stories, but the truth of the matter is that nobody knows until it happens. I think I’m getting a better understanding that we will all be gone someday, and death is the only thing promised to everyone…
I’ve realized that sometimes I have to acknowledge that the battle is already won even when my opponent doesn’t. It’s kind of like in chess, ( I’m not real good at playing, working on it -hopefully ) but I know that you never actually “ kill the king” the win is obtained by the knowledge that you could if you “ needed” to.. every situation is different but I have to be wise enough to use my foresight when evaluating how I should deal with it. I feel like in a way every battle I go through is worth it because I have gained a piece of wisdom about dealing with a certain type of situations, that I didn’t have at first.